|A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. |
-Mignon McLaughlin. Source: Mr. Google
Marge appeared to be quite content these days. I don’t know quite how it happened, but she and Danny were getting along just fine. In fact, when you considered that my sisters and brother were relatively happily married, I don’t know why I had such an aversion to it myself, why I thought of marriage as the end of everything and the beginning of nothing.
– Kitty McCarthys, Kitty and her Sisters (page 72) by Maureen Lee
I personally not so keen about getting married. I don’t know why. Perhaps I had reached the stage where marriage no longer a huge matter anymore. There was a time when I secretly came to believe that I might be single for the rest of my life. When my parents and people around me keep asking about it, I easily get annoyed by them. Later, I managed to show my casual face. Just grinned at them and walked away. Several of my close relatives volunteered themselves to be my matchmaker. ‘Lawyer, doctor, engineer, you name it. We will find one’. Even my dear friends, those who close to me, worried so much about my singlehood. They were asking me to change my job in order to find a potential date. In fact my former colleagues, tried to match me with his dear friend whom is about twelve years older than me. I could only laugh my heart aloud.
Thinking about marriage alone had frightened me enough. Let alone raising my own child. I'm not such a good daughter and eldest sister myself. Of cause I won’t dare to think of becoming a wife and a mum. Perhaps, I kind of agreed with Kitty. I even come across to ‘love ends at the marriage life’. But I indeed believe that marriage is the beginning of everything.
Only this year I’m back into this love game. My mum was so excited about it. Perhaps for the fact that it had been quite a long times since I last ever mentioned about going out for a date. Everything went so fast. Fast enough for me to swallow the fact I was about to get married soon. I hesitated. I threw his proposal back. It was the first time I ever jilted someone. I left him broken hearted.
‘Most of the girls at school want to get married.’
‘It doesn't mean you have to’
‘Are you putting me off?’
‘No. I just don’t think marriage should be your sole ambition. You should only marry when you fall in love with a man you want to spend the rest of your life with.’
Kitty and her Sisters (page 192) by Maureen Lee
Shortly afterward, I attached to someone I called love, someone that I want to marry to. Enough of that. It turned out that I was the one who urged for marriage things and we are apparently just a few months met. I always have this little crazy thing within me. I might be an obedient, but. There’s but there. When you expect me to do something without my will, chances I might doing unexpected things are there. I was born to a quite conservative parent, whom expected me to get married soon after meeting ‘the one’. When my parent and others kept asking ‘when are you going to get married?, when are you going to settle down’. I sensed an enforcement hitting my head. And I don’t feel liking it. I just dislike being force to commit into something against my own meant. I tried to reason them. I said things like I wasn’t mentally and emotionally ready just yet. I began talking about the responsibility awaits. Maybe my biological clock is quite alarming, but I don’t see the need to be in a rush to get married. Marriage isn’t as simple as looking for new garments; even looking for a new shirt would cost me whole day hunting. Yesterday you married to A, today you divorced him. Tomorrow you’ll jump into B’s arm. Therefore, marriage shouldn’t be taken very lightly.
Marriage has its own purpose. The right reason to get married is the purpose that marriage is designed from the beginning. The basic purpose of marriage is to satisfy our deepest human need, companionship (Hanna Shiferaw). I always believe that marriage as the best way of creating permanent connection. The bonds between you both go deepen over times.
Yes, I do want to marry the man whom I love. At least now, I genuinely want to get married. Begin to think about having my own family, having my own babies. Babies? I'm so fond over babies nowadays. I wouldn't bear looking at one without holding a temptation of touching them.
Hilary tells me that women say that they need three husbands in their lifetimes. As a young woman, they need an adventurer. As a mother, they need a father to their children. And as an older woman, they need a companion, a steady type of guy. if you can full those roles over the course of decades, you're in luck.
- Paul Wexler, married 40 years to Hilary. (www.esquire.com)
P/s : will you be my adventurer, a father to my children and my companion?