An unsettled anger

Source: Mr. Google

How to release our resentment? When people feeding our mind with the mocking comments, definitely the most discouraging and unpleasant one, what shall we response to them? Do we have to put our smiley face and walk away? Do we have to confront them and blast the even more mocking replies on them straight to their face? Apparently, we are not that kind person. Acknowledging what kind of person we are about to encounter, prolong the resentment would not do any benefit for either of us. But, why? Why they can’t use proper words or calming down their intonation when passing on their disagreement or disappointment? Do we would blog about our sullen feeling inside? A younger sister of mine who seemingly wiser than me once said, “Do you really intend to tell the world about your anger? Writing them neither in blog nor Facebook account could only cause the anger become permanent. Literally, we intentionally want it to be well-remembered and not really move on and let time heal the fuming soul. When we hold anger within us, we live in agony. No. We would allow such misery engulf our daily life. Life is so short for us to think of the undesirable comments deployed on us. By that, lives our life GLEEfully. If we could not find amusement while watching GLEE on television. Then, switch off the television. Go straight to our own room, and sing ourselves out loud. But if we heard our neighbours yell from their backyard, please shut out our mouth then. Alles gute!. Wink! 

Beauty freak

I had to admit that I am quite obsessed with the facial skin product. I remembered at aged of 12, I secretly applied my mom's skin product, Oil of Ulan and Hazelin Snow onto my face. Until one day she bought me my first ever complete set of skin product which consists of cleanser, toner and moisturizer. It’s a basic step to flawless skin. I forgot the name of the product but distributed by Zhulian. My mom was an active agent by that time. After being using them for about 3 years, suddenly Zhulian stopped from distributed the product. Huaaaaaa ;’( Since then, I began to try almost every product in market. Just to name a few: Johnson & Johnson Oil Control, Biore, Mustika Ratu, etc. Resulting pimples started to decorate my teenage face. (T_T). I cried at school over those pimples. I blamed for the make-up that I had to wear for school theater. I blamed for the sponge that ‘Kakak Cantik Petronas’ used on my face and other faces. I used to have such a healthy skin before. Worst, they were not getting any better during my final year at secondary school. :’( My bad habit of trying new product launched on market continued until I pursued my study at uni. 

One day, just an ordinary day of student life, a friend of my roommate introduced me to L’Oreal Oil Control T-Zone set. Impatient me, I rushed to nearby market (Mat Sapak, the biggest market in Bandar Jengka) and bought one set delightfully. Within two weeks of using the product, my face became itchy and pimples emerged everywhere they can fit in. I was horrified. I cried (as expected) and freaked out. Argh!! My face!!! Then I stopped using the product instantly. I complained to the one who suggested the product and she tried to reason me by saying that itchy and new pimples were just the healing process. I didn’t believe her. The edge of my nose became smarting. Then, I stopped using the product immediately. But that won’t stop me from trying other product. I sought for local cosmetic products; Sendayu Tinggi, Natasya, Nouvelles Visage, etc.  They won’t help either. Finally, I used Biore cleanser alone for nearly a year. No toner. No moisturizer. No masker. Only cleanser. Then only, my skin begun to recover and heal. I remembered being teasing by my first and last blind date about my pimples. ‘Aik, dah hilang?’. I’ve used the concealer to cover the pimples by that time. Hahaha. Enough of that. Let’s continue. Later, my friend and I started using Oil of Olay Total Effect (recently featuring by Yuna, my favourite singer-songwriter). Ja. The product totally gave a positive effect to our facial skins. They appeared more radiant and black spot begun to disappear. Since then, I never jump to other product. 

Yuna, a new Total Effects Ambassador  Malaysia

But one fine day, one of my colleagues invited me to Mary Kay’s presentation by Kak Niza, a part-time Mary Kay’s beauty consultant. Argh!! Warning sign!! I’ve tried to decline the invitation, but I failed. End-up I was the one who bought one set of Mary Kay’s Botanical Customized Skin Care. I was instantly fallen in love with the product. Love the smell. Love the moist effect left on my skin. Although Kak Niza promised me that the facial pores soon will be shrink. They never were. I still couldn’t get rid of the enlarged pores on my faces. Once I ran out of the product, I changed to another set, Time Wise Anti-Aging which cost me double of the first set. Yet, I still am craving over the crystal clear skin of any SK-II beauty-ambassador namely Ayase, Cate Blanchett, Fauziah Latiff, and recently Kate Bosworth. Their faces are so touchable and an effortless beautiful without any make-up on. I rarely applied any foundation, BB cream or what-so-ever. In fact, I never own one. Heeee. It’s simply because I believe in beauty without too much cosmetic on. Moreover, I don’t know how to apply make-up. My doreamon cosmetic purse (which I ‘curi’ from my lil’ sister) contained ZA White two way foundation compact powder, a Revlon’s lip-gloss, a L’Oreal’s lip-stick, In-2-it blusher (which I supposed already expired), ZA’s sunblock and ZA’s grey eye shadow palette. I seldom bring along my cosmetic purse while outing due to my super-duper lazy to re-apply the powder on my face after perform prayer. 

Ayase, the youngest SK-II face

Recently, my colleague asked me about collagen which I know nothing about. I'm browsing through internet for this supplement, BeautSkin Essence product. I am so keen of trying it. The testimonies received from the satisfied customers are too tempting to resist. A close friend of mine also consumed BeautSkin Essence (BE) since the last 3 month and she’s glad with it fantastic result. Her skin (whole body) became glower, more radiant and fairer. Ok. That’s enough with promoting the yet-to-be-tried-product. While searching for the other supplement, I noticed that my cousin quite recently uploaded her new self-photograph onto her Facebook account, happily showing off her flawless facial skin. With smile wore upon her face, lavishly displayed her inner confidence. She used to having a bad facial skin with a lot of pimples scar. I'm pleased to learn that she finally recovered from the teen-pimples which haunted her years back. Since I'm not that pretty close to her, thus I could not ring her phone and simply asking her ‘Hye you. You looked gorgeous. Bother to share with me your secret?’. So please, let’s guess how am I going to figure out her beauty secret. Tadaaa! I stalked her Facebook account. That’s too obvious. Haha. That’s so not me. Since she didn't bother to reply my comment, so I have no other way but tracking her trail. (“,) I gone through the pages her likes and found out this Vitamin C 500g product. No name at all. It’s Vitamin C 500g. I went numb. Owh, she just consumed Vitamin C for a healthy skin. I never took any supplement or vitamin especially vitamin C because I believe in myth that vitamin C may trigger in increasing your appetite. As I believe in myth that blood donation may lead in weight gain which apparently it’s not. My point here is do I need supplement? Somehow, I still believe in getting nourishment from the food that I eat daily. But does the food that I consumed is enrich in nutrients, vitamin and mineral? Till then. 

Hey, you just like my sister

‘Hey, you just like my sister, using left hand to eat’ said my little brother to my cousin, Abang Shang. I remembered been told to use my right by my best friend’s friend while having dinner. Frankly, I’ve been forced. ‘Use your right hand’ he ordered. I’ve tried to reason him. ‘Use your right hand’ he ordered again with more prominent voice. It was the first and the last time I ever met that guy. It was quite embarrassing to be forced and you’ve done it eventually but not by your own mean.

Holding spoon using left hand is no such a good practice. Over the years, I’ve practiced myself and reminded myself to use the right. It’s never been easier. It was ok for the first two or three mouthfuls, but then I went back using my left hand. Most of time, I just don’t give a damn on it. I used my left for my own comfort. Later, I came across of the Hadith below;-

When anyone among you eats, he should eat with the right hand and when he drinks, he should drink with the right hand. (Muslim: No. 2020) http://forums.understanding-islam.com

Several times I met difficulty while eating in crowd. Clashing elbow with person next to me was a norm. It was even worst when I have to use fork and knife. I would hold the knife using my left for cutting easier and hold fork using my right clumsily. Others make it sound easy for the lefties to change their preferable handed. ‘Everyday training will eventually become your second nature’ they once said. Knowing that if you used your left, you’ll do it faster, thus you’ll always end up using your left hand. The fact that you have the option and the awkwardness seems too much irritating. Yes, indeed with patience and persistence, you will finally nail it. I've been practice for years still never really comfort of using it. I was amazed that I actually able to iron my clothes using my right hand. I trained myself to suit with the electronic devices which mostly designed for the righties.

Further to my reading on this topic, the below are fatwa which I extracted from Samiha’s comment on http://www.turntoislam.com

Al-Shawkaani (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Nayl al-Awtaar (8/183): His words “No one among you should eat with his left hand” signify that it is not allowed to eat or drink with the left hand, and this prohibition has the sense of being haraam, as is established in usool; it should not be interpreted as meaning that it is no more than makrooh unless there is some indication to that effect in the context. Al-Nawawi said: This applies if there is no excuse. If there is an excuse which means that a person is unable to eat or drink with his right hand, because of sickness or injury and so on, then it is not disliked to use the left hand. End quote.

To conclude this entry, whatever happens I must train myself using my right hand to eat and to drink. No further excuse. 

Eve Green

Is that why we give flowers? 
To express admiration?
Sometimes.
But there are other reasons.
A symbol of love, or of commiseration.
A way of saying thank you.
A mark of respect.
Proof we like someone, and want them to smile.
And we put flowers on graves to say,
Look, we still think of you. You're left a space behind.

~ Eve Green by Susan Fletcher, page 115

p/s: Al-fatihah for our late grandparents

“Every waking minute is hell,”

‘Excuse me, from whom you get these big eyes?’ said my colleague, fair skin, tooth obsess as she would brush her teeth more than 3 times during the office hour and her slanted eyes. ‘Are they from your parents?’ she added more. I just shook my head and simply replied ‘No’. Back then, my friends used to call me ‘patched eyes’. I couldn’t bother more. Or my bestie’s brother would describe me as ‘kakak mata besar’. Having popped eyes, protruding jaw, small and almost round nose, big front teeth, flat chest, out of proportion body with narrow upper body and wider at the bottom. I just named a few flaws that I pick up from other’s remarks of me.

Early this week, I came across news pertaining to two young and beauty Singapore-bloggers in seeking their beauty perfection. Both are attractive women. However, both of them dream to be prettier but yet still recognizable. The instant answer to their pursuit of perfection is going under knife, cosmetic surgery. To my surprise, South Korea leads the world of plastic surgery procedure. One in five women in Seoul has gone under the knife. Through my reading on plastic surgery obsession, I managed to found a blogger who teach English at elementary school in Korea. One day, she held a group discussion amongst other teachers on this beauty craze; she was floored by the confession that four of six of her colleagues had undergone plastic surgery. Double eyelids, brighter and anime-alike eyes, nose-job, V-line mandible or jawbones, boob/butt implant, and new sensation among K-pop star leg implant.

K-pop sweetheart mum coupled with as gorgeous K-drama hero dad, what else you would wish for?
Source: Mr. Google.

I just don’t get it when this people volunteer themselves to be cut and spend a fortune to look alike their starlets rather than be they. Knowing the volume of pain they may suffer from, but yet still clinging over it. Yes, indeed, beauty is pain. But does the pain pay off? The most cliché reasons of getting the transformation are 1) getting career boosted, and 2) finding the spouse. Just after finishing my secondary school, I attended a computer class and one of classmate informed that she wanted to attend stewardess interview. I went through the application form, although never cross in mind of being one. In my young thought, stewardess is beautiful, slender, tall, no scar on their body with bright and warm smile upon their face. If stewardess claimed that she’s getting plastic surgery as a part of career requirement, then it’s pretty well understandable. But looking at AirAsia stewardesses and they are just normal people. Opss,  I just criticised on others. Sigh. 

Can't take my eyes of those 'perfect legs'. Source by Mr. Google

So, career is not a solid reason to consent the needless surgery. I reckon most of men embrace natural beauty the most. Heavy make-up just frightens them. I'm saying like I'm a guy. Trust me; I just happen to know it. Giggle. However, it is a whole different story if you are looking for Korean man. He might cry for Song Hye Kyo’s cute features, Lee Hyori’s sexiness (or you just imagine Megan Fox seductive look) and Girls Generation perfect leg in those super short almost invisible pant. I openly adore Angelina Jolie’s dangerously racy lip. But that doesn't mean I want lip implant to emulate Jolie’s lip.

Song Hye Kyo. Source by Mr. Google

 While browsing through the internet on this issue, Korea Education Ministry warned high school students of ‘plastic surgery syndrome’ by referring to Michael Jackson and their local women addiction. Though plastic surgery left the patient with horrify swollen face, or chance the surgery goes wrong is there, this beauty freak endure the consequences of their own choice. “Every waking minute is hell,” a woman wrote in her diary, who’s hanged herself after the double-jaw surgery went wrong.

I must be grateful enough to be born in Malaysia, not in other part of world where the physical outlook does a critical matter. I'm not suggesting that Malaysian are not prejudice and judgemental when it comes to physical appearance. But these beauty obsessions have not come out of the locked closet just yet. Or perhaps we are just simply ignorance as once reported in Malaysia, one of two is either overweight or obese. I won’t elaborate on this just yet. Wait for other entry. Since ‘Winter Sonata’ fever spread throughout the nation back in 2007, K-drama and K-pop became such a boom. Recently, PSY become a viral global marvel with his infamous ‘Gangnam Style’. Although I personally a K-drama fan, but this marvel is quite alarming. My only concern is that does this go-plastic-sensation will spread their wide wing here and implant this craze idea in my young sister and brother? It does bother me hell a lot.

Funny kitten and tiny goldfishes. Source by Mr. Google

After reading quite numbers of article relating to plastic surgery, it is doesn't matter if others call me by ‘big eyes’, ‘patched eyes’ or ‘cartoon eyes’. I would rather regard my big eyes as my uniqueness. Hey, these beauty freaks been dreaming to have bigger eyes. I remembered one of trainee calling me ‘goldfish’ which means prosperity. And I would glad to remember myself with something as good as it. Glup glupp ;p