Freaky me

Last night I reached home late almost 11.30pm. I was terribly tired but I enjoyed the lecture pretty much. (My lecturer so energetic. She will entertain your question even the clock shown 10.30pm, class should be dismissed by that time). That wasn't the thing buzzing my mind. Today, I’m fasting even without sahur. And I’m super tired and sleepy and starving too. (I always looked sleepy..haha). Either of being tired or sleepy never ever hunting me. I don’t where to start. I've numbers of assignment need to be completed. I've stuck up by ‘justification’ type of question. I couldn't stop myself thinking of my wedding prep which almost no progress at all. I couldn't made up my mind on MUA, whether to take bridal package which inclusive make-up, bride n groom attires, hand bouquet, and pelamin but I still craving for my dress wedding dress (custom-made dress). It took me months to finally decide the look of my wedding dress. (Frankly speaking, it may take me forever. Mr. F must be annoyed by me.hahaha). Catering service haven’t confirm yet. My mum insisted on hiring caterer which her friend hired for her daughter wedding. As my mum herself had tasted and witnessed the service delivered. However, she not even knows the caterer name and contact no. A warning sign! I might such a last-minute person, but definitely no last minute decision for wedding prep.

P/s: happy teacher’s day to all. ;D

Let's bake yummy bread pudding. here  I haven't try yet..huhu

Grand her a second chance

Saturday, 4^th May

It was late evening when I read the massage from my friend, T. My closest friend during my senior year of secondary school admitted in ICU. Just a few days before I replied her FB’s private massage. I was so crashed receiving the news. I ran immediately telling my mum and other family members who were watching the PRU13 analysis on national tv channel. I was crying my heart out. It was so painful for me to shallow. I cried alone until I fallen asleep. I don’t have a gut to visit her that day.

Sunday, 5^th May

The voting day. Last night I’ve planned to visit A immediately after casting my vote accompany by Mar. I managed to reach the hospital half hour before visiting hour ended. I was holding Mar’s hand while entering the ICU room. There were 8 beds, each of patients with a lot of wires around their bodies. I did wear my spectacle. A is in bed no. 6. I looked for the bed‘s number. I saw someone laying hopelessly with blue bruises on the arm. As I came closer that was A. There was no word to express the sorrow I felt inside as I set my eyes on hers. Ya Allah. Tears running heavily I couldn’t bear to hold any longer. She was attended by a pretty nurse when we arrived. Mar chuckled, but she abled to ask few questions and gathered some info from the nurse. Lung infection that attacked her last 2 nights had shown a positive progress. According to the nurse, A is getting better than the first time she arrived. Mar kept talking to A as she could move her eye lid up and down. I stood numbly beside her, held her arm without a word spoken out. ‘Pls say something’, said Mar to me. I gathered all the strength I could have that moment, held back my tears, started mentioning every friend name I could remember whom send their regards and promise to visit her. 

As the time came to an end, her mum came and approached us. I asked about the bruises on her body. That were causing by the traditional treatment performed by her own dad / her dad’s follower. Her mum confidently told us that they refused to give consent for any operation and forced A to agree on no operation by blinking her eyes twice. Instead, a doctor graduated herself (her mum), persistent in continuing the homeopathy treatment which demonstrated to her before being hospitalized. The hospital’s guard came to escort us out. Before went home, we met A’s doctor sister and to our huge surprise the tumor in A’s brain are as big as 6cm x 6cm both right and left. Even the brain had been squeezed out of the scalp. Ya Allah. All this while, A never mentioned about the tumor size and uncountable time informed us that nothing much to be worried. She kept almost everything within her. The pain, the sorrow. She only shared her disappointment towards her sibling’s laziness and other people whom driving her mad.

Tuesday, 7^th May 2013

Receiving a massage from Mar. A became weaker. The infection worsens and the tumor had affecting the nerve which believes the cause of her weaker. I was stunned and cried and praying for her good health.

Wednesday, 8^th May 2013

During a maghrib break at 7.30pm, I read massage from T who just came back from visiting A. Her head had been cut bold as the doctor prepared to perform the operation in removing those tumors. I remembered A informed me that the tumors are not cancer since they are belign tumors (malignant tumor does) which through my limited reading, grow at one place and cannot spread out or invade in other part of body. But now, it seems the tumors did spread out. Gosh. Another major frustrated my friends and I were A’s mum postponed the operation which supposed to be held today. Her dad’s followers were doing their ritual (I’m not sure whether ritual is the exact word) and causing the bruises around her neck and chest. Ya Allah. 

p/s: A week before the election, I invite her to go for voting together. but A refused. She doesn't want to cost me any trouble. I knew she barely walk. Her spirit and the sense of responsibility as a Malaysian I truly inspired.  Pls pray for her.. 

A plain gold ring on my forth finger

I am wearing a plain gold ring on my forth finger. And it does meant something. I’m engaged! Yes. You read it correctly. I didn’t telling my entire close friends about it. Only a few closest friends and relatives made known to it. No photo uploaded onto my FB album. I didn’t change my status. There was a time when people trying to pry into my private life (the boyfriend things) I did once or twice boldly replied ‘if I have one, telling the world I would’. The truth is I am not as bold as that. I have no intention of keeping it secret. As a week ago my dear cousin (I had a strong sensed that she’s the one and only who going to make public of my engagement) posted on my FB wall ‘where are your engagement photos?’ Yes. Now, the whole world knew about it. Great!

“Rahsiakan pertunangan dan iklankan (maklumkan) tentang perkahwinan” (Hadith riwayat Ahmad dari Abdullah bin Zubair Radhiyallahu ‘anhu, dan disahihkan oleh al-Albani di dalam Irwa’ al-Ghalil) 

What shall I do next? Should I share all the photos? Or should I just abandon her post? I chose to ignore her. Hehehe.  

People must be questioning what is wrong putting your photos on FB? I genuinely bliss with our engagement as we are one step closer to ‘grow old together’. But something kept hunting me. I felt inappropriate to overly exposing the engagement matters. Moreover, we just held a humble and small ceremony and only attended by family members. I didn't have mini pelamin or dais, no make-up artist (my BFF volunteered to do the make-up), my mum did the cooking with the help of my sisters and her sister and my 2 cousins. I self-decorated the hantaran (gifts) for him. Regardless of my mum commented saying that the hantaran looked alike diy school project, I tried to hide the shame I felt inside.

When everyone else spent thousands of money on their dais and engagement outfit, I spent that money for my postgraduate fee. My study fee was nearly equal to merisikgallery’s engagement Package A. Therefore, there was nothing much to be shared about my e-day.

With this announcement, I’m officially bride-to-be (b2b) and a bridezilla-soon-to-be. worker+student+b2b = (-_-) arggghhhhh!!!!!!

p/s: it’s been 3 months since my e-day..and w-day is just a few months away from now.. hmmmm..