Monday, 17 September 2012

Making a huge decision

I was always excited to acknowledge about my transfer to second project, Manjung 4. There was something within me which I couldn't explain through words that drove me to Manjung. My former boss always hesitated about this. Perhaps his biggest concern was whether I could endure the rugged, the hot weather and the reality of construction work. But I insisted. I've made up my stand. I've tried to reason him by simply saying about gaining my independent as my world always revolved my beloved parents. 

Then my fairy tale had begun. I hardly be friend with my new colleagues. I barely found the chemistry between them. From the topic of conversation to almost everything weren't match. I regarded myself as quite friendly person although I'm not that bubbly, but still I managed to stick a conversation with almost anyone. Or perhaps I was being too arrogant. Hmm, just forget it. 

When it came to work, again I found it too complicated to adapt with new task. The non-technical sounded task given seem didn't able to satisfy my huge appetite to become a technical person. As day passed by, permitting the negative thought and broken emotion surrounded my daily life; I wrecked all the magnificent dream of rebranding myself as Miss Independent. Crying at the workplace became a norm to me. Arguing with my superiors turned to be a new habit I couldn’t resist.

Suddenly the rainbow emerged after the long rains in my heart. A closest friend from previous project had been transferred to Manjung too. Yippee!! Since her arrival, after work outing became often which for the last 3 months, isolating myself from others and caving inside my room were so compelling to me. Smile and laugh always accompanied me since then.

But still there was no good news for my work. Remain positive was a massive battle ever. Evil thought still lingered on my head, buzzing me until the night falls. I began to develop unconscious depression which resulting in increase high blood pressure. (What? 150/110? So unreal!) Then, of cause my over-conscious mum, constantly reminded me of looking for a new job which never pop on my sensible mind.

Wow, I have written a lot. And I seem won’t stopped just yet. Huhu.

So now, here came the crucial part of my life. We used to hear ‘when we gain something, at the same time, we will lose something. Therefore, ensure that what we gained is more precious than what we’ve lost.’ Finally, I have to make my own call. To withstand the dreadful and discontented current working life for another a year or to switch job and start all brand new day under the new company and new working environment. I’m never good at making choices. Unless I was asked to pick between a pinkish flowing gowns with vintage touched and all black Morticia of The Addam Family gown looked alike. Then, too obvious I’ll pick the pink one. ;P

I was always having this unexplainable sentimental connection with my previous company. And I will always have it within me. I’ve met a lot of wonderful people, making friend with them, sharing laughs, tears and thoughts, those sour and bitter memoirs will never be forgotten, but those sweet and amusing memoirs will be remembered the most.

The main point is simply doing the thing that you have to do. Yes, I’ve lost a lot as consequences of my leaving. I’ve lost experience to work and to complete the 5b worth project (such a wow factor to boost up your future career), I may no longer meet those great people I’ve once be friend with, I may miss the sweet and sour of real site life which may lead me to be a tougher and stronger person ever. However, I’ve made my stand. I might not know that I’ve chose the right path or not. I’m going to make it happens. Make it work, work! I’ve once ruined my own decision (transfer to Manjung), but I did believe I’ve fought the best that I could. Have faith in Allah. The rainbow will follow whenever you go, as long as you think and wish it would. Amin.

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