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| Source: Mr. Google |
In 89 days, I’ll be
someone’s wife. I’ll be married to someone. In 89 days from today, the roles
and responsibilities shall be shifted. He’ll be my protector and provider. The roles
of my parents were since the day I delivered to the world. Will he nurture me
and love me, an endless love, an unconditionally as parent’s love to their
daughter?
I’ll be bonded to him,
no longer to my parents. His permission shall the one I seek for, even just for
visiting my own parents.
Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over
the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous
women are devoutly obedient,
guarding in [the husband's] absence
what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear
arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed;
and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means
against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
Surah An-nisa, 34. http://quran.com/4
What are the duties of
husband?
Protect
the wife
Provide
her foods, shelter and clothing (support her financially)
Giving
her love (taking care of her psychological and emotional needs too).
In return, wife should
obey her husband, in matters that are not against Islam/Quran. Second, wife
should guard the husband's honour and property as
well as the wife's own loyalty towards him and giving him love too.
Obedient is a huge
word. But that’s the wife’s first duty. That’s not really easy to be frank, for
persistent person with stubborn and having her own thought. For example, if you
are ask to dress properly in accordance to Shariat. I may wear hijab since kid,
but I aware that I’m not covered it enough. Even wear hijab, I sometime wear ¾
sleeve shirt. Sometime, I love to wear Kebaya Nyonya, although mine wasn't that
body hugging and loose, but still the shape was obvious to not be noticed. It same
goes to wear too much cosmetic and accessories which meant to draw other’s
attention.
Surah An-nisa verse 34,
clearly stated that husband is the solely breadwinner in the family. Through my
reading, even the wife is a millionaire, that doesn't give the husband right to
take even a penny of the wife’s money. However, if the husband giving his consent
for his wife to work, and the wife with her wholehearted willing to help the
husband financially with her own wage. The only matter is that, most of time,
when the wife earns more than husband, or she has her own money, the husband
begins to loosen his duty. The burden suddenly rested on the wife’s shoulder. From
house loan, utilities bills, paying maid or baby sitter, household and even the
groceries, all on the wife to provide. First few years, yes, the wife may be
able to cope with its. But as time flies, when kids became irritating by their hyper
and uncontrollable behaviours, family matters became unmanageable, too much things in
her hands, and your relationship with your husband became bitter, turned to more
parenting oriented, one day you’ll be exploded and burst. Wife tends to lose
her respect on the husband as she begins to think that ‘I’ll survive with or
without him’. It’s a warning sign.
So again, it is the
husband duty, to make a peace of his own family and the wife duty to obey.
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said that the best
woman is the one that pleases her husband. When he looks at her, she pleases
him. When he commands her, she obeys him. When he absent himself (goes away on
a journey etc.) she protects his wealth and his honour. (BAIHAQI) http://www.shariahprogram.ca/women-islam/sayings-of-prophet-pbuh.shtml
Nabi Kareem Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: There are 3
persons whose salaah is not accepted nor does any good act of theirs reach the
sky. Firstly, a runaway slave until he returns to his master. Secondly, a woman
whose husband is displeased with her and thirdly an intoxicated person as long
as he does not repent from using intoxicants. (BAIHAQI) http://www.shariahprogram.ca/women-islam/sayings-of-prophet-pbuh.shtml
Just imagine how serious of displease the husband; disobey
him even worst, neither the wife's salaah is not accepted nor any other good
deed of hers.
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