Tuesday, 8 January 2013

A Glass is half full

This unfortunate event happened to my dear friend, Miss A. Her former boyfriend ended their long term relationship, just a few months away from their planned wedding. The hall had been earlier booked, the crystal in swan-shaped gift for the VVIP guests had been wrapped beautifully, and other arrangement had been made for the wedding by her beloved mum who was undoubtedly thrilled by the wedding. It was rather a devastating heart broken. Although at first she might be hesitant about the wedding (marriage particularly), but when a guy she loved asking for her hand, planning their future together ahead, all the doubts she held within her vanished away. It was unbearable for any lady to ever imagine of. No word shall describe the pain she felt. Surprisingly she was able to put her happy face and remained focus on her daily life. I had once dared to ask how she managed to remain this calm and positive. She replied, ‘I fake it. I used to cry all the way back home alone in car. But life has to move on, even that by mean of faking my own happiness.’ She back on the boyfriend hunting game soon afterwards. ;p

In contrast, my other friend, Miss B, had been jilted by her long-time-crush (for 3 years she devoted her unspoken love towards him, who she called her best friend). He might not threw the rejection in front of her face, but saying ‘I never thought of her more than just a friend’ to her friend was too overwhelm for her to believe. She rather confused by the surprise on her 21st birthday when he popped in front of her with a huge chocolate cake as ‘just a friend’ thing. Giving her a pearl bracelet and wrapped it around her wrist as another ‘just a friend’ gesture. Perhaps she just was being plain fool for relating those gestures as a sign of more than ‘just a friend’ thing. But what this Miss B did after that was even dumb. She took another 3 years to mending her broken heart and forgave herself for being that oblivious. 

The glass half full. Source: Mr. Google

Does the glass half full, or half empty? The above circumstances are an obvious comparison between two different people adopted towards the boyfriend rejection. Miss A stayed positive and carried out her life immediate after the event, even she had been put through a rough and miserable betrayal of someone who about to marry her. Meanwhile Miss B took much longer time to recover from her unrequited love.

Miss A saw the glass half full. She saw herself as a cause rather than an effect. She started thinking about what she can make happen rather than crying a river over a runaway groom to be. Miss A is an optimistic and positive person. So, how to stay optimistic after such uninvited setback? Through my reading, what capture my mind most is remember that life is so short. Whenever negative thought clouding around you, remind yourself that every minute counts.

To quote Einstein: “Problems cannot be solved at the same level of thinking at which they were created”. Where pessimists see problems, optimists find opportunities. (http://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2012/09/19). Back to the above examples, where Miss B viewed the rejection as a total rejection, she begun isolating herself from the world. Meanwhile Miss A viewed it as open opportunities for her to look for other potential date or perhaps a soul mate and explore a new experience or chase after her dream which might detain by time limitation.

Third, avoid energy drainers. If you are struggling to feel more positive, don’t spend your time hanging out with ‘emotional vampires’ – those people who suck the life out of you with their complaints and commentary about everything that is wrong with both the world and the people in it (http://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2012/09/19). In hope that we could absorb the positive vibe, surrounded ourselves with positive people.

In one hadith, Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said: “The example of good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim). So, choose our friends wisely. They might jeopardize our ‘route to be more optimistic strategies’.  

Forth, look happy and be happy.  Humour is a highly effective antidote to almost every ailment, anxiety or adversity. Watching a funny movie or spending time with a friend who really makes you laugh is literally medicinal. (http://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2012/09/19).

My New Year resolution is to be more optimistic. See problems as opportunities to learn and discover the hidden inner strength or a new way leads to own happiness and success. I am pessimist kind of person. I tend to easily pick-up any flaws in almost everything. Even to one extend I couldn't stand looking at a guy pairing a black socks with a white in colour shoes. Weird me.

Don’t cry over spilt water. After all, you still have another half full of water to drink to.  

p/s: more confident me, visit the website link. (http://www.women2.com/feel-more-confident-and-powerful-in-60-seconds-body-language/

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