“What do you think about a friend of yours at her late 20s, seeing a much more senior man aged 50?”
“She needs to thoroughly think of every possible aspect. Her parent’s feeling at most. Yes, love does blind. But please consider others feeling too.”
The conversation went on and on. I overheard the conversation of two ladies (at their early or mid-30s) who sat next to me in the train. I saw them quite frequent. Since I couldn’t force myself to finish up my motivation book titled Happy which I bought during Big Bad Wolf Sale, so I consumed my mind with others conversation instead. Huhu..
Is it inappropriate to date someone much older than you?
Did you remember the last time you ever having a secret crush on someone much older and forbidden (someone else husband, fiancée or boyfriend)? One of the earliest crushes we had was our own teacher. I did remembered back then when I was 9, there was an English teacher, with cute baby face, fair skin young man, riding black superbike to school everyday. Most of girls in school were having crush on him. Since I was always being teacher’s pet (perhaps thanks to my dolly eyes with small face), he too always giving attention on me which only bringing other’s green eyes on me. (I am exaggerating the whole story in order to make it appeared more interesting. Hahaha.) However, as far as I remembered, I didn’t hold any crush on him.
There was another more promising teacher crush when I was 14. He was only 2 months substituted Math teacher, Mr. Aan. He was tall, dark and handsome. Yes. You got me right. He had all the manly man features most women coveting for. His husky musky voice will melt you down and suddenly for those who not so into Math, becoming Math maniac (so in sudden algebra become peanut butter). The most fanatic fan of him was my own friend, M (who used to be my jogging-mate). The whole school knew about her craziness towards this young man and she seemed not bother at all. During his last day in school, she cried a lot. Hell a lot. I believed most of his fanatic did shed their tears. Back to M, she gave this teacher a goodbye gift in famous Titanic scene paper bag. (Quite intimate scene of Jack and Rose) That paper bag causing chaos at school. Everyone was talked about it. (Please, what the relevant the above stories to this topic).
I totally agreed with Hugo’s statement. It really makes sense to me. Another friend of mine once had a crush on someone which 20 years senior than hers. No intimate feeling was involved in this relationship and it was just a platonic crush. Obviously as a junior, what she adored the most about this man were his knowledge, intelligence and life experiences. Those are the qualities she being longing for to withstand any obstacles both in her career and her life. But please beware. If you ever indulge yourself into this kind of crush, otherwise it may lead to a chaotic affair. Perhaps this is well-explained what happened between Rupert Sander and Kristen Stewart. (You must be so fond on Kristen, did you? Please, get a life..)
Back to the topic, my personal view, there is no such thing like appropriate age to date to. (You can’t be serious?) Because I do believe love happens beyond our self-control. I once came to this statement which I couldn’t remember where I had pick it up, ‘if you couldn’t like a person within the very first 5 minute you met her/him, you wouldn’t probably going to like her/him later.’ I reckon others may not agree on this, but I just want to show that liking someone or loving someone happens by chances and definitely unplanned. I am taking an example of Crocodile Dundee real life couple, Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski whom 19 years age gap isn’t a huge matter at all. (here). If you are Playboy founder, Hugh Hefner, then the 60 years age gap of his newly-wed beautiful young blonde wife Crystal Harris seemed nothing much matter.
|Perhaps love, Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris. (Source: Mr. Google)|
However, we are people from the eastern whom marrying someone much older are not much preferable. This pretty young lady just graduated (she’s a famous local blogger) took years before her beloved parent finally giving their consent for her to marry her then-husband. The outlook definitely wasn’t what she’s looking for. He may doesn’t quite compatible to her, the age gap or the physical (eastern people quite too judge mental when it comes to the physical appearance, otherwise they wouldn’t throw fortune to get cosmetic surgery done). Perhaps the chemistry between both of them is something phenomenon.
Now, why it isn’t really preferable to date someone much older?
a) He/She just a few junior than our parent. Try to imagine we are in our parent’s shoe. Doesn’t it feel quite weird to have another adult in the family? Once you two get married, what shall he/she call their in laws? Definitely not by name. Dad? Mama? What? You must be kidding me.
b) Let say, you two were blessed with children. You were attended their kindergarten school play. Your wonderful and clearly talented children were doing fantastic on stage. Here come much younger couples who sit next to you. They unintentionally offended you by saying, ‘hey, your grandchildren were doing great on it. You must be proud.’ And suddenly you replied, ‘I am so proud of them. Btw, they are mine. Not my children’s children’. Leaving the chattier asker jaw-dropping facial expression and a long awkward silence.
c) He/she had living much longer life way ahead you, well-experienced, wiser in making life decision or judgement. Therefore, he/she should earn such higher respect and automatic power in making a lot of marriage life decisions which not a good practice in any relationship. It required two way conversations, but just one man show.
Couldn’t imagine myself seeing old man. Remember my earlier entry when my former colleagues, tried to match me with his dear friend whom is about twelve years older than me(here)